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Contact Us. How should we reach out? Email Me Call Me. First Name. Last Name. Email Address. Phone Number. What time works best? How did you hear about us? Your Message. Join the Boozeletter. Some travel companies like to Google activities in Europe so they can put together sparsely worded listicles mandating you try 30 different things located in all the disparate corners of the vast European continent before you die.
We like to do a few things and do them well. Thoroughly enjoyable. So what are all these puddles everywhere? One guess, fool. You realise now what has been catching on your thongs Australian thongs, not American thongs and flicking up all over the back of your sunburnt legs.
Ahhh , you cry, and try to brush it off, but then you realise you have it all over your fingers. You have no choice but to carry on, but you wear your new knowledge like a shameful secret and hope that no one can smell it on you. When you think no one is looking, you sniff your fingers. Why do all the homeless people here have dogs? At first the high levels of visible homelessness prod you awkwardly in your sheltered core as you try to decide whether you give them money or not and whether it would mean you have to give money to every homeless person you see and can you afford that and are they really homeless?
You realise he is just trying to sell you drugs. This will happen to you approximately once every five steps. A man making eye-contact who is holding beers and not muttering about drugs? Well he looks harmless enough. As you walk away, he adds, You like stuff? You quicken your pace, fears of being stabbed renewed afresh. As you fail to nonchalantly walk-run away from the drug dealer you bought the Estrellas from, you hear a friendly voice, Hey baby, you want some brown sugar?
Everyone here wears Nikes. Or do they wear Adidas? Shit, which do you choose? Ugh, that guy just spilt a drink on your new Nikes. Fuck this , you declare, and you and Chad stumble back out onto the street. You and Chad stumble back onto Las Ramblas all wide-eyed and full of love for the wonders of this thriving petri dish of bacteria in all the various luminous shades of humanity. What, is that a variety of capsicum seed that produces a cock-shaped vegetable-fruit?